PRESIDENT TRUMP: Thank you very much. Thank you.
I’d like to begin with an update on my tremendous, Big, big, absolutely tremendous, and big power.
I am very, very tremendous, and big, believe me.
Thank you, thank you.
You know, I was elected to represent Big, big business in China-
and perhaps, the Israelis-
but not Pittsburgh.
One by one, I am killing climate regulations, or terminating progress-
and you see that, you see it all over.
Tremendous, absolutely tremendous and Big.
But My job as president is to do everything within my power to lax contributions to foreign lobbyists on Wall Street.
Illegal immigration is starting to come back, very, very bigly.
And nobody even knows where they are going.
Pittsburgh? There are so many, many, many locations within our great country —
like Paris. France. And America.
But nobody has been able to say, “where are you going?”
We’re also working very hard for cash-strapped foreign leaders.
They came, they came Big just before I came.
And not good the way they took the money.
I’ve just returned from a trip overseas-
Thank you, thank you, to win praise from foreign capitals that have long sought environmentally safe, clean coal.
Believe me. I do, and I always will.
There, I learned America’s having a big renegotiation in two weeks.
Big renegotiation, something about Paris, and its tremendous environment.
China and West Virginia will be allowed to go. They asked me if I’d go. I’m going to try.
During my address at the G7 I added 3.3 trillion to 1 million, where I concluded nearly 350 billion. It was very reciprocal.
You see what’s happening.
They’re laughing at me. At what point do they start laughing at us?
I don’t want they, or other them laughing at me anymore. And they won’t be.
Believe me. They won’t be.
A cynic would say, “I can’t ensure responsibilities are needed.”
Peace in the middle east, and to the obstructionists.
Thank you very much.
This is yet another in a series of revisions of Donald Trump’s speeches, titled “Bad Speech Writing”. While every word has been taken from his Paris Climate Agreement Announcement speech (provided by the © 2017 CBS News staff at http://www.cbsnews.com as of June 1, 2017) I have however, taken extreme liberty with my own rewording of the original speech, so I could transform much of it into the piece you just read. I did not do this for political reasons, although some wording does play as such and DT is just so damn inspiring. I hope you enjoyed. More to come.
Click below to read (and compare) the full, unadulterated transcript (as provided by © 2017 CBS News)