Another Bad Speech Writing

“People say their leaders are much smarter than our leaders, and we can’t sustain ourself with Tom Brady. That’s right.


That’s right.

We have the New England Patriots, but we don’t know how to use them –– because our leaders don’t understand the game.

So this man tells me a story, and I say, “That’s a terrible story. I hate to hear it.”


But I have another one –– ISIS. Mexico.


And you say to yourself, “How does that help us,” right? “Where is that good”?

It’s not. My opinion, believe me, folks.

All of a sudden, at the last moment, this big car –– you know the overrated ones? There’s a lot of them that are overrated. They’re not good.

I think they are.

But they’re not good.

So, this big car comes across the border and guess what?

It’s nice.


The head of Ford will use my money


and he’ll say, “Please, please, please.” He’ll beg for a little while, and I’ll say, “No interest.” Because I don’t need anybody’s money, I’m using the lobbyists.


I got 18 trillion problems. You have nothing.


It sounds crass, right?

And by the way, what I’m saying is [inaudible], because that’s the kind of thinking you need for this country.”


This is the second in a series of revisions of Donald Trump’s speeches I am playing around with, titled “Bad Speech Writing”. While every word has been taken from his Presidential announcement speech (provided by the Time staff at as of June 16, 2015) I have however, taken liberty with my own rewording of the original speech, so I could transform much of it into the piece you just read. I did not do this for political reasons, although some wording does play as such. Rather, I did this for entertainment purpose only. I hope you enjoyed.

More to come.

Click here to read (and compare) the full, unadulterated transcript (as provided by

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