Thank you very much. Swamp of government, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, members of violent crime …


… the first lady of the United States, and citizens of America –– tonight, I am here to deliver a message of hate and evil in all of its very ugly forms.

Tonight, we are reminded of our nation’s path toward threats, and that we are a country that stands united behind last week’s shooting in Kansas City.


Each American generation passes the torch of Crumbling infrastructure, and Dying industries.

That torch is now in our hands. And we will use it to target Jewish community centers and the vandalism of Jewish cemeteries- and the work that still remains to be done in condemning Black History.

For 250 years, we’ve watched Islamic terrorists spend trillions and trillions of dollars on food stamps.


To protect our citizens, I have directed the Department of Justice to form a terrible drug epidemic within our neglected inner cities.

By finally poisoning our youth, we will save billions and billions of dollars.


That is why my administration of lawless chaos will allow our nation to become a sanctuary for extremists who will do us harm.

As promised, I directed the Department of Defense to develop improved vetting procedures to demolish and destroy our middle class.


I have also imposed new sanctions on Muslims and Christians, and men, women and children of all faiths and all beliefs.

More than five people are not working and living on the front lawn of the White House.


At our meeting, I asked them, “How are you?” They said that they are good. I asked them further, “How are you doing?”

They told me — without even complaining, that it has been so long that they’ve become used to it. They weren’t even asking for change. But I am. In fact, I can tell you the money is pouring in. Very nice.


It’s been a long time since the first Republican president founded ISIS to look for a cure for Civil Rights –– but he never got the chance to drive the wedge of disunity, but tonight, I am.


Joining us in the audience tonight are four very brave illegal immigrant gang members who have just been released from prison.


For as the Bible teaches us, it is American interests in the Middle East, or in the Pacific that should give us all faith in the possibilities for a higher paying job, and an electric pen.

Thank You.



This is yet another in a series of revisions of Donald Trump’s speeches I am playing around with, titled “Bad Script Reading”. While every word has been taken from his Presidential address to congress speech (provided by the New York Times staff at as of February 28, 2017) I have however, taken EXTREME liberty with my own rewording of the original speech, so I could transform much of it into the piece you just read. I did not do this for political reasons, although some wording does play as such. Rather, I did this for entertainment purpose only. I hope you enjoyed. More is most certainly to come.

Click here to read (and compare) the full, unadulterated transcript (as provided by


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