Bad Speech Writing

“Thank you. It’s great to be at Trump Tower.

Some of the candidates, they went in. They didn’t know the air-conditioner didn’t work. They sweated like dogs.

When was the last time you saw a Chevrolet in Tokyo? It doesn’t exist, folks.

China comes over and they dump all their stuff, and I buy it. I buy it, because, frankly, I have an obligation.

But I speak to ISIS and they tell us what we’re getting. And it only makes sense-
I’m in competition with Islamic terrorism.

They just built a hotel in Syria. Can you believe this? They built a hotel.
So now ISIS has the oil, and a hotel. And it’s got to stop and it’s got to stop fast.

But we don’t know. And I will tell you this, and I said it very strongly—

“Don’t hit,” because you’re going to totally destabilize the Middle East and somebody else.

We have wounded soldiers — all over the place — they’re great — all over the place, thousands and thousands of wounded soldiers, who I love.

But every time we give Iraq a bullet, they leave it.

Last week, I read 2,300 Humvees— these are big vehicles folks.

But the real number is anywhere from 18 to 19 and maybe even 21.

Our enemies have jobs.
But we have the “big lie”, and nobody talks about it, because it’s nonsense.

It came out recently Putin thought the television boy was thirty years old, and I thought it was horrible when it was broadcast because people look at us and they say, “That is a group of people.”

You have to be hit by a tractor, literally, a tractor, to use Obamacare. I have one right next to the White House, right on the Potomac.

And remember the $3 website? I have so many websites, I have them all over the place.

I hire people and they don’t know. I’m meeting with three of them in the next week.

I have a friend who’s a lobbyist, and he said to me the other day, “Donald, the sun will rise- and we also need a cheerleader.”

Then, when President Obama was elected, I thought that he would be a great cheerleader.

But you know what?

Our great leader wrote “The Art of the Deal.”

The greatest social program that God ever created, was, I’m going to tell you—

stupid for a number of reasons.

I own a big chunk of the Americas, that I got from China in a war. Very valuable.

I love China. The biggest bank in the world.

I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody. Am I supposed to dislike them?

I like them.

And I hear their speeches, “What do we do? How do we do it? Could we have your support?”

I like them.

And I watch the speeches.”





This is the first in a series of revisions of Donald Trump’s speeches I am playing around with. While every word has been taken from his Presidential announcement speech (provided by the Time staff at as of June 16, 2015) I have however, taken liberty with my own rewording of the original speech, so I could transform much of it into the piece you just read. I did not do this for political reasons, although some wording does play as such. I hope you enjoyed. More to come. Mwahahahahaha!
Click here to read (and compare) the full, unadulterated transcript (as provided by

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